He is an equal opportunity slut.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
