make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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