I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
