Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Randomize
