Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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