idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Randomize
