I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Buhtt sex?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
