:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I wear drunk well.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
