come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
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