...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
We left the knife in your bed.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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