so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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