I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
