you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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