now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
he thought i was a dude.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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