you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
