they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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