I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
