somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
