i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
