Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
