Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
