I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
