Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
