absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
