I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
