Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
