hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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