it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
It's not a walk of shame if you run
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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