She is in my trunk
I think my vagina is haunted
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
