please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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