k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
