No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
