pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
After last night, I could never be a politician.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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