just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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