o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
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