ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
