It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
