dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
