If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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