If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
In America we eat man semen.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
