Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
