some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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