if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
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