Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
