The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
