Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
