if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
How's work?
Spinning.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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