don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
