I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
