So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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