Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
