We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
