Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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