I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
